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Q. "Sometimes, in the middle of the night, my seven-year-old sits bolt upright, stares straight ahead, and screams at the top of his voice. It sounds like he is being attacked by an axe murderer! We try to comfort him, but he doesn't even know we are there. This goes on for many minutes. Then he goes back to sleep. If we wake him, he seems confused and cannot remember what he was dreaming about."
A. Your little boy doesn't remember his dream because he wasn't dreaming. It sounds as if he's experiencing night terrors.
When we first fall asleep, we enter stage one sleep. We then progress through stages two and three until, after about an hour and a half, we enter our deepest sleep, stage four. Scientists can recognize these stages by our brain-wave (EEG) patterns.
Surprisingly, we do not dream during any of these four stages of sleep. Indeed, if you wake someone up at this point, they will remember either nothing, or they might say they were "thinking".
As the four stages fade, we fall into a totally different sleep mode known as "rapid eye movement" (REM). This is the time in which we dream. If you could watch someone during REM sleep, you'd see their eyes darting from side to side. Throughout the night we go in and out of REM sleep. We usually dream for approximately 45 minutes before returning to non- REM sleep, which lasts for an hour or so, and then back to a REM sleep state. As the night progresses the non-REM stages become lighter. This explains an old saying, "an hour before midnight is worth two after".
It is when we dream that we can have nightmares. These are usually Hollywood style productions in full colour that seem very real at the time.
Night terrors, on the other hand, occur in stage four sleep. This is also the stage in which sleepwalking and talking occur. The reason they occur is unknown, and most children grow out of them. They may be worse at times of stress.
Hearing your child screaming in terror is distressing to you and the rest of the family, but luckily your child is in no danger. Your best strategy, if you can handle it, is to just leave him be. You've already said that he goes back to sleep on his own. Use the same methods for sleepwalkers as well. Determine that he isn't in danger of falling downstairs or out a window, or any other harm, and he'll soon return to bed.
Children aged from 3 to 6 are usually the ones who experience night terrors. Sometimes they continue for a little longer. Of course they are hard to ignore, but it truly is best not to awaken them. You need your rest too, although it is difficult to sleep through a night terror event.
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