Unless you've been a parent, you have no idea of what parenting is. It's especially amusing to hear someone who has never even baby sat the neighbors kids, give an opinion on what being a parent is all about. If you're lucky, you can have children, but just having a child does not make one a parent unless she or he sticks around long enough to raise that child, watch him/her grow, and agonize on whether the decision you've made for your child is the right one.
A stubborn child is a big complaint among parents to their doctors or counselors. Many children get it into their heads they want to do things their own way. This is a normal phase of childhood though, children are showing their independence and giving into their every demand is not the right thing to do, and anger will only make them more stubborn. Patience and understanding may go a long way toward helping your child understand that while independence is a good thing, there are limits.
Typically, when a child expresses stubbornness, it is that child's way of showing assertiveness to get attention.
Because of this, you can take your child's actions of stubbornness as a clue that you need to provide more attention, but the right type of attention. Perhaps your child is being bullied at school but afraid to tell you.
It could be that your child has some kind of fear but is not sure how to express it. Therefore, instead of feeling angry or even frustrated, look at your child's stubbornness as his or her way of trying to communication about something.
For this type of parenting, you need to talk to your child, asking if there is something wrong. Be patient, trying your best to get to the root of the problem. With this information, the real issue can be addressed. The key to successful parenting in this situation is to avoid conflict. For the stubborn child, you need to have time when the two of you can sit down, one-on-one. Therefore, if your child is busy watching a movie, reading a book, or working on a project, allow him or her time to complete the task. When there is a break in the action, talk to your child.
Children learn at a very early age how to be great manipulators and they will try to see how far you can be pushed before you will give up and allow them to have their way. Show them there are rules for everybody and we must abide by them. If he or she is out playing and you tell them to be in the house for dinner in 15 minuets then stick to it. If they don't come in when you tell them, there will be consequences.
A stubborn child may be a bit harder to deal with but if you don't assert yourself as a parent while their young, you may be in for some really big rebellion problems in the future. Be a parent and act like one, you are not their friend. So many parents a afraid their children will not "like them," they are not supposed to like you all the time. But they will always love you, and as they grow into adults, they will see you were right about the rules.
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