Custom essays on Family violence

psychologist Olga Adams gives an advice how to stop family violence. It is a pity but many people decide to stay with the cruel member of a family. They are afraid to lose some benefits. For example, many women are afraid of starting the new page of their life. The family becomes a kind of drug and woman understands that she is suffering from her husband. Nevertheless, she cannot help returning to him repeatedly. What does Olga Adams suggest?
“Once again observing a family where reign violence, cruelty and disrespect where people look against each other as at sworn enemies, I think of, why these families such steady. It is many years torturing each other and the children, the man and the woman do not leave, do not break link, which holds down them together, as if strong shackles. What they so strongly hold? What them forces to be together? Why the victim of family violence wishes to leave and cannot? Parting it is always a pain on how to set yourself free from such kind of family? It is impossible to leave feelings and renounce them. It is possible to understand only that disposal of them will be not fast, but at first, it is important to stop to renew these feelings. To stop, reflect that occurs to you. Obscure relations, unexpressed words prevent to move further. Carrying out consultations, I quite often ask a question: “And what you would wish to tell to this person?”. It can be the husband, the wife, and mum with whom and the questions that had the vital value in destiny of its already adult child have not been resolved can.
If feelings are familiar to you that you wish to leave, but cannot be explained, this desire will hold you. I wish to tell about a simple and effective way to help you to be preserved from desire to sort out the relation, to state something or to hear. Write the letter to this person, but do not send. Alternatively, present your conversation with it and tell everything that it would be desirable. You can state everything, and it will allow you to create internal clearness, to express heavy experiences, to understand that occurs. The main thing, do not enter internal dispute with obviously known scenario, simply tell that you want, maybe, not once. In any case, it is necessary to bear some time this luggage of insults and disappointments with itself on a life, but it is better, than to sit on it for years, trying to leave, and remaining on a place.”
Every country has a Constitution. If you want to protect yourself, you should know the law. The law about domestic and family violence is different in different countries. It is necessary to know a law of the country you are living in.
John Makov is a police officer. He gives some advices to those people who are suffered from family violence: “If you or your relatives have undergone to a beating from outside the partner or members of your family (the son, the father etc.) to you follows: To cause workers of the police and meet them if it is possible. In case of need to cause first aid to achieve, that guilty delivered in the police station. After you need to come there and put in the statement for bringing to criminal liability. To receive in police station a direction on medico legal survey if there is in it a necessity. Simultaneously with excitation of criminal case, you have a right to show the civil suit about collecting of material and moral harm. The law does not know restriction at the age of witnesses. Witnesses can be and those persons who knew about circumstances of drawing of a beating from your words. If statement acceptance in police to you refuses or the service of local policemen does not react to your requests you have a right to appeal against their action as submission (in Office of Public Prosecutor, in court).”
In addition, at the end of my project I want to give a story of a woman who suffered from family violence. It is very hard for the victims to talk about the problem. They do not like to give interviews. They prefer to forget about it. They do not like to talk about their pain and humiliation repeatedly. Sometimes they have no force to leave the tyrants and start the life from the very beginning. Nevertheless, the woman who does not want to name herself decided to tell her story.
“My God! My God!” 10 times… 20 times… 30 times…
Moreover, blows were strewed. I did not cry any more. After clear comprehension “it will kill me” tears any, more was not. For a long time already has passed for a midnight. Moreover, he all woke up and continued to put bumps in a back. Now I will tell how I have come to such life. I was born in a happy family of students. I was the only child. Also considered that if I treat the person kindly and furthermore I love it, I marry and I give birth to the child also he respects and appreciates me. He has finish technical school and has a job. I met my future husband. I got married at the age of twenty. I knew that he was not an easygoing person, but fondly considered that the love would smooth all. I was a student. I loved my husband very much and I tried to do my best for him.
You may think that I will complain about my life. You are wrong! All my thoughts and acts I describe only to explain you the behavior of individuals of a male here. When I conducted on the Internet dispatch “How could a woman protect herself against family violence” many woman wrote me letters. I was interested in behavior of those men who beat their wives. I discovered that these men have the same behavior. Well, in 4 years everything was my fault. The most important thing was that I could not give birth to the child. Moreover, when it happened, he found out that the child is not good enough. In addition, I was against he drinks. He did it for pleasure, and I spoilt his mood.
I called my parents from neighbor’s flat. I waited for them in the street. When they came, we were going to pick the child from my apartment. I cannot take the child from the apartment. When I took the child run, he began to beat me. It was impossible to receive the help with the child.
So, we rose in apartment. He pushed me in apartment and closed a door before parents. I cannot come out. He promised that he would never beat me again. I was so fool! I believed him and told my parents to go home. Never trust promises of the sadist! Tomorrow he will remember nothing.
After, he blamed me for disappointing our relatives and neighbors.
In the evening, my dad came with a police officer. I refused to open! Could not send my husband to the police station!
God has given me rescue!
All this day my hackneyed and hooting head accurately worked. I mentally collected the necessary documents and things. In addition, when he went out, I gathered everything in 15 minutes. I took the child and went to my parents.
He was calling me all the time. He bought me flowers and perfume. I wanted nothing from him. I began to depart from a shock. Every day I fell asleep with thought “Thank God, we have escaped”.
Every day I was thinking about what is my fault. I tried to forgive him, I was afraid to meet him. I was afraid to pick up his phone calls. If I saw someone who looked like him, I was scared. In some years, I fully recovered. I communicated with other women who suffered from the same problem. I decided to tell about my feelings. In addition, I understood that the tyrants have the same way of acting. He establishes a distance between you and your relatives and closest friends. He may say that cannot stay along without you when you go out on a visit; he takes offence, when you tell to someone about friction in your relations; He disrespects your relatives and if you don’t like it, he says that they wish to spoil relations between you and him.
When you spend time with relatives and friends, he says that you are betraying it. Gradually he lets you know that you are not the perfect woman. He forces you to recognize that he is always right and you cannot criticize him.
Then he lets you know that you are not good person to anybody and he is the only person in a world who agrees to love you.
He tells you that nobody cares about you except him.
Do not believe it! If you believe those words you will repeat the destiny of millions women who was killed finally by the husband or died later, sometimes in a year or more because of injuries. Some of these women are slavers in their own house; their children show disrespect to the mother.”
The family and domestic violence it is a global problem. Many people are suffering from it and many different services are trying to help the victims. If you know the one who suffer from family violence just try to help the person. It is no need to be indifferent.