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Have you ever thought why arranged marriages cause so many disputes and even censure? Why are they so controversial in western countries and so popular in orient countries? I would like to find out the main disadvantages that people see in arranged marriages and expound the way orient people see this phenomenon as an arranged marriage is a guarantee of a life-long and happy married life.
I am from an orient country and I know the way people are married at home. Having seen this tradition from within and having seen the consequences of such marriages, I can clarify the situation for many Americans who see an arranged marriage as something pragmatic and bereft of love. In fact, western people have wrong prejudice about arranged marriages, which I would like to break down.
Why do modern people often understand forced marriages by arranged ones? Certainly, in orient tradition there are cases of forced marriages when parents make their children marry each other despite their wish, but there are as many of these cases as in western countries, in modern society too. An arranged marriage is not a blind acceptance of parents’ will but rather an advice that parents give to their offspring, suggesting a possible candidate for marriage.
But where is love brought by our destiny? Orient people do not rely on luck when the matter is the future of their children. A marriage is a basis of life, it is your fortress and you should be confident that this fortress will not ruin one day. Meeting a person by chance, falling in love with him/her, you do not anything about him/her, moreover you cannot act logically. This feeling inspires but what is left afterwards? Very often there is a broken heart and a broken life.

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In an arranged marriage you know who might be your partner for life what you can expect. I say, “might be” because parents only get acquainted their children entrusting the final decision to the children.
Why do parents choose the spouses and not the children themselves? Parents are the people who know their children best of all and who have life experience. They have overcome many situations together and they know what should be appreciated in the spouse. They would never wish something bad to their children and young people know it.
All these arguments might seem groundless if not to take into account the rate of divorces in eastern countries, which is much lower than in western countries. Besides, the opinion of both young and adult people about this kind of marriages in orient countries speaks for itself. People who have lived like this for many years acknowledge the durability of such marriages.
Assuredly, the followers of marriages for love might find many points to disagree, in particular the question of rate divorce which is said to be low because of the traditional mentality of people. Do you really think that people who suffer living with each other would bear it because of certain mentality? If there are some, they are in the minority. Arranged marriages serve the ground which is left when passion fades. One might say that there is no love in arranged marriages. The opponents say that love is the heart of relationship and arranged marriages are similar to contracts. Indeed, love is important between spouses but I insist on modern view of arranged marriages when young people decide ultimately. Moreover, I claim that arranged marriages strengthen love, because if love has appeared between the two people, chosen by their parents, there are far fewer obstacles on their way. The same status of the family, common views, the same circumstances ease the future life and reduce misunderstanding.



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