Negative Tone

Signs: Negative words, such as “not” and negating words, such as “possibly” and the prefix “un.”

Positive writing is an important way to create a strong relationship with your readers and deliver bad news as effectively as possible. This does not mean that you will sound like Pollyanna, pretending the sun is shining during a storm. Rather, you will create a strong, forward-looking tone that is realistic and convincing. In fact, the ideas governing the positive voice would make great material for a how-to book on marriage. Just look:

Avoid negating words, such as “just,” “unfortunately,” “may,” “might,” “possibly,” and “perhaps.”

In the business world, a line like this:

The Forester Company might possibly offer the best customer service in the state.

will sound more convincing with a positive slant:

The Forester Company provides some of the best customer service in the state.

This line:

Unfortunately, Nina Dow, our Executive Vice President, is leaving the company on November 15 after 12 years.
sounds better this way:

Nina Dow, our Executive Vice President, will be leaving after 12 successful years with our company.

Avoid apologizing too profusely.

In the business world you want to be honest in your correspondences and admit your organization’s mistakes. But honesty doesn’t mean you need to dwell on the negative aspect of the situation or apologize on bended knee. Focus on the changes your company made once it became aware of the situation.

Rather than write:

We are terribly sorry that our representative was abrupt on the telephone last Tuesday. This is inexcusable behavior and we were shocked to hear of it.

Write:

Thank you for informing us that our representative was abrupt on the telephone last Tuesday. We spoke with her, and she sends her apologies and assures us that she will not use that tone again.

Avoid negative words that leave writing vague and indirect.

In business documents you can simply cut out negatives, such as “no” “not,” and “not only,” from your writing and replace them with more specific and direct alternatives.

Instead of this line:

Not only should you complete and mail the form, but you should send us $200 for dues.

Write this one:

Please complete and send the form with $200 for dues.

By using positive language, you also create an opportunity to become more specific, and in the process, more lively and informative.
Accentuate the Positive

Your significant other wants you to take the weekend off. After all, you’ve been working weekends for a month on that loathsome proposal your team still hasn’t finished. And, really, you want to take the weekend off. And maybe you can. If not Saturday, maybe Sunday. Maybe. If you say, I might be able to get some time off,” your partner’s expression will drop into one suitable for a bulldog. Try, I can only take Sunday,” and he looks betrayed. But say, “I’ll try really hard. At the very least, we’ll have Sunday,” and your partner’s heart starts beating a love song.

Apology Exaggerated

You had a fight that morning, something about a vacation and how she wanted to spend it on a golf course while you were hoping for a trip abroad. You raised your voice, okay, and that was wrong. But both of you were late for work, the kids were shouting, and the pressure was sizzling. When you get home, you apologize with a “Oh honey, I’m sorry.” She understands. Add a little more apology: “Honey, I’m sorry, I don’t know what the problem is. I was just so terrible. Please forgive me.” Now she’s agreeing. You were terrible and, by the way, do you remember how you spoke to her last week? A little more apology, and she acknowledges that the level of the affront is astounding. You endure a tense, all-night silence not even a new infusion of apology can relax.

The Power of Positive Wording

You’re heading for a formal dinner. Your partner is dressed in tux and tie. Shoes shiny. Hair slicked back. He looks in the mirror three, no, four, no, five times. When he asks how he looks, better not respond with “Not too bad,” or “Not undesirable.” Try “great,” “gorgeous,” “sexy,” or about a hundred other positive adjectives first.
This line:

This is not the same packet we sent you last week.

would be more reader friendly this way:

This is a new, more comprehensive packet.

And:

This is not the best bid.

is stronger when written this way:

This bid is 25% more expensive and they’ll take two months longer than the other contractors.

Place good news first.

Remember, good news creates a good mood. If you have a reason to thank your reader, for example, start with that. If you are responding to a complaint, thank the reader for contacting you about the problem.

Instead of this line:

Although we cannot send you the full amount you requested, we will reinstate your policy with no charge.

How Was Your Day?

My friend and her spouse bought a new car, a new house, and new furniture. In short, they were broke. Then, one glorious afternoon, they received a $500 tax-return check. Unfortunately, that glorious afternoon grew dim just a few hours later when their refrigerator died, never to revive. The day brightened a little again, though, when my friend learned that a replacement would cost $500. That night she told her spouse: “We just got a $500 tax return. And guess what? The refrigerator died, but we don’t have to worry since the $500 will cover it.” Her spouse was delighted.
use this one:

We will gladly reinstate your policy with no charge and can reimburse you for $52 of the amount you requested.

Positive Power. Another reason why the positive voice makes such a surprising and refreshing change: 75 percent of our daily conversations focus on negative subjects.

Exceptions: Perhaps you are involved in legislative work, fund-raising, or some other activity that fights for a cause or against one. In these cases, you can highlight the negative to alert the reader to the severity of the issue:

TRY THIS! Yes, you can make the following negative statements positive:
1. We mistakenly sent you the wrong form requesting information about your family. Please throw this card away and complete the enclosed card instead. This information is vital for our files. We truly regret any inconvenience this mistake caused you. Like most organizations, we rely on automation to help us increase efficiency and responsiveness to our clients. Unfortunately, even the best systems make mistakes. Again, please accept our apologies. We hope that you continue to do business with us.
2. Please accept our apologies for taking so long to send the materials that you requested. We are unable to keep up with the demands of the public and have been backlogged for several weeks. If you do not find all the information you need here, or have any questions or concerns, please call. If I do not answer the phone personally, don’t hesitate to leave a message and I will call you back not too long after.
In the United States, one of every five children is hungry. And, with diminishing funds going into school-lunch and after-school programs, more will join the list.

You may attempt to be starkly one-sided to elicit a response. Here are two examples:

Two employees left this month and two the month before. Yet the company hasn’t filled these positions. As a result, we’re seriously understaffed and have a growing backlog of work.

and:

Jerry O’Connor arrives at least an hour late every day. He is so rude that three employees have written complaints against him. In addition, he gets reports in late, if at all. I have documented these matters in greater detail in the enclosed report.